Why I Say “Sober” Instead of “Clean”—And Why Language Matters in Recovery
A note from Silver Wheel Coaching:
This post comes from my earlier work in addiction recovery.
While my current focus is on newsroom wellbeing and sustainable spark, I’m sharing it here for those navigating recovery, or anyone curious how language shapes our healing journeys.
Why “Sober,” Not “Clean”
People sometimes get confused when I discuss my Sober Living Skills program. They ask why I only work with those addicted to alcohol, not drugs. The fact is, I work with everyone. I use “sober” as a blanket term to describe anyone in recovery from addiction.
Merriam-Webster defines sober as abstaining from drinking alcohol or taking intoxicating drugs; refraining from the use of addictive substances. So why do so many people say “sober” for alcohol addiction and “clean” regarding drugs?
How Language Shapes Stigma
Society often draws unnecessary lines between alcohol and drug addiction—and language reinforces this. The word “clean” suggests the opposite is “dirty.” But the opposite of sober is simply “intoxicated.” Language from older recovery models—steeped in shame and derogatory terms—can do real harm, making people feel less-than, even when they’re working hard on recovery.
Addiction already carries plenty of shame. We don’t need language that adds to the burden.
Dignity, Pride & Recovery
If I say, “I am clean,” the implication is I was once dirty—a phrase better used after playing in the mud than describing someone’s recovery.
“Sober” is a positive, motivating word. Whether you’re three days or three decades into recovery, it reminds you (and everyone around you) of your ongoing accomplishment—of overcoming real adversity, and enduring on the path to a better future.
Words as Compassion
Words are deeply impactful. The language we choose can foster self-respect and hope—or reinforce stigma and isolation. I invite you to use “sober” as a term of respect and inclusion for anyone in recovery, no matter the substance. Let’s model compassion for ourselves and others, one choice of words at a time.
*If you or someone you know is navigating addiction, please know you’re not alone. I still have a wealth of resources and connections in the recovery world, and I’m always glad to share support or referrals. Everyone deserves dignity, compassion, and real opportunities to thrive.*